Developing And Sustaining A Romantic Godly Marital Relationship — Part One
If you think you're mature in age, buoyant, smart and assumed it time to get marry. Yet without been acquainted with understanding about how man often react the way he does or how woman often behave the way she does things. My beloved, you are ignorantly walking into marital life imprisonment of frustration because it is only knowledge that qualifies you to get marry and not age or wealth.
You only get ready for marriage when you have the information and not when you have someone to marry. Nevertheless, if your marriage is already faulty, the healthy remedy isn't divorce or second marriage but a second chance to get knowledge. Therefore, kindly eschew those elaborate wedding fantasy and curiosity of getting married and go-out there and get the information stuck into your memory because marital vehicle doesn't have a reverse gear.
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| Pastor Daniel |
In today marriage discussion we are going to take a long drive into marriage seminar headed by Pastor Daniel Oyanna days ago in which I was opportune to witness and I believe you going to gain one or two points and impact them into you marital engagement because marriage is not for babies.
DEVELOPING AND SUSTAINING A ROMANTIC GODLY MARITAL RELATIONSHIP
First of all, what do we mean by the word relationship? Unfortunately, we have gradually adjusted or adapted the word to only refer to the connection between two persons with a romantic intention. This is not a crime but it makes it difficult for us to comprehend the fact that the principles that make for a successful romantic relationship are not different from those that make for successful relationships of all types.
This limitation keeps us from doing something that's vital to us as people with functioning minds - learning and adaptation. Ephesian 5:21-32 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church"
These verses show that the principles of love and submission that run the relationship between the church and Christ are also applicable in romantic relationships. But the critical issue here is that, in view of our future romantic relationships, we could study, practice and master the fine art of loving and submitting in our relationship with God before we ever get romantically committed with anyone.
Sort of test run these things in one setting then copy and paste it elsewhere and get it working with fewer mistakes only with some adjustments. As a matter of fact, some time before I got married, God said to me, "If you treat your wife the way I treat you, you won't have problems". He was and still is right.
So, a relationship is the word used to refer to a connection between two otherwise separate entities in such a way that the actions of one party affects the other automatically affects the other and vice versa, whether they each choose to or not. In this setting, we shall focus on the romantic type of relationships.
There is another component of the topic before us that helps is qualify what we are talking about today. The component is the "godly" bit. A godly relationship can only be experienced by godly people. Godly does not automatically translate to born again, Holy Ghost filled, tongue talking. Not all who have been born again are godly. Christian means Christ-like and that means in spirit as well as actions and words.
Romans 8:9b ... Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. A person can't claim to be godly or a Christian unless the spirit that makes us Christians is inside of him manifestly. What do I mean by manifestly? Matthew 7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. What fruits?
Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And in terms of words and actions, we have the scriptures telling us clearly what the pattern is. Acts 1:1 ... all that Jesus began both to do and teach, We cannot all be preachers and teachers but the scriptures still give us our syllabus.
1 Corinthian 11:1 Be ye followers of me, even as I also [am] of Christ. James 3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same [is] a perfect man, [and] able also to bridle the whole body. We would all love to pass ourselves off as godly simply because we have identified ourselves as Christians but the truth is, not all of us are.
The better umbrella terms would be Church People because that would accommodate us all but there is a dangerous warning in the scriptures. 2 Timothy 2:19 Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. Why am I going on and on about this as if that's the main subject here?
It's because the principles I teach as espoused in the scriptures are for godly people and can only work in the hands of such people who are fully surrendered to the Lord. The issue is not that they are without fault or flaws but that when they do fall, they do not pretend that they didn't. Instead, they acknowledge it and stand before God for a cleansing so they can continue to please God in their thoughts and actions.
One chance meeting with you is not enough to persuade someone else that you're godly. It takes a while to study a tree in order to identify the kind of fruits it bears and to be certain that those fruits were actually grown by the tree and not merely stapled on like Christmas tree decorations.
See, there is a certain scripture that brings me pain every time I read it since the day God opened my eyes to see a second truth hidden therein. 2 Kings 4:8 And it fell on a day, that Elisha passed to Shunem, where [was] a great woman; and she constrained him to eat bread. And [so] it was, [that] as oft as he passed by, he turned in thither to eat bread.
2 Kings 4:9 And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this [is] an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. Elisha had been passing and taking refreshment at this woman's house for some time before she came to the conclusion that he was a holy man of God. What God said to me was that it means that other men of God had passed by this woman's house who were not holy men of God.
He further said, there are men of God who are not holy men of God. Tears came to my eyes that day ... They still do. This does not apply only to pulpit ministers of the Gospel alone but to all of us. And, guys, do you know the funny thing, we all want to marry godly women. We want a holy and just God to grant us our heart's desires by giving to us one of His holy precious daughters and we expect such prayers to be answered.
If you were in God's shoes, what would you do? Of course, this is applies to the sisters as well. Seeking a godly relationship also means we cannot, and will not, do things the way of the world. It means we will treat each other how the word of God dictates we should and it means we would have nothing to do with unscriptural behavior and activities. I believe we will touch more on this later. "To Be Continue In Second Part"